Doubt
Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
-Khalil Gibran
There’s a difference between self-protective doubts that deflect or deny and the doubt that desires to be met with some kind of revelation. The first demands something that can function as proof; the second simply seeks a response that takes its longing seriously.
In the story that meets us this weekend from John’s post-resurrection account of closed doors and defeated disciples, Thomas is a doubter, not a denier. His confidence shaken, he needs more than words–something other than secondhand news. Thomas’s lonely pain is the mourner’s longing to touch the beloved again. His is a faith in search of a hand to hold. Jesus meets him there.
The risen Jesus meets our doubts in the same way as he meets our boldest confessions of faith: with his body broken and his blood shed. There is space enough in this resurrection body to hold all of our questions and each of our hopes.
The story of Easter unfolds in the gospels in the same way it unfolds in our lives. We move someplace between the whispered hints of resurrection and the eyewitness strength of certainty. Easter faith will be found on this same path. Find comfort and challenge in the fact that there is no pattern to be followed, only a road to be walked. Trust that we travel it together.
Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt, but believe.
-Jesus (John 20:27)